Since I too am an immigrant, the recent refugee crisis has hit very close to home. I feel I should do my part, not just because I’m disgusted by the horrible images and disappointed by how little France has done compared to its European neighbors, but because I understand how frightening it can be to arrive in France and not know who Bob Sinclair is. When people ask me why it is I’ve decided to house refugees chez moi, these are the top ten reasons I give, reasons you too can use if you find yourself in Paris wanting to do the right thing.

10) Berlin’s doing it, so it must be cool

9) My part of the 10th arrondisement is getting too white

8) I need more allies at the condo board meeting.

7) It was a mix up on Home Exchange and we got the dates wrong.

6) Because it’s super chic to say “We have the space. W hy not?”

5) Can you say Méchoui Mardis?

4) I always wanted to be known as a “hipster juste.”

3) I want to really piss off Arno Klarsfeld.

2) Now I’ll finally have an audience for my Matuidi Charo.

1) If M. Le Pen wins in 2017, I too will be a refugee. Why not buy some karma?